THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU ARE AT WORK AND BORED

10. If you are in a position of authority, dream up crazy competitions, force your workers to participate – losers are fired. If you are not in a position of authority, commit yourself to your work, impress your bosses, put in two to three years of dedicated and loyal service, get a promotion, be put in a position of authority, dream up crazy competitions, force your workers to participate – losers are fired.
9. Find a chair with four legs, sit. Try and balance on only two legs for as long as you can. When somebody asks you what you are doing tell them market research. Give them the evil eye.
8. If there is a particular co-worker you are not fond of, wait until they go for lunch and then go to their computer and start downloading porn. Go to Human Resources and report that said co-worker is downloading porn on their computer. Bask in a job well done.
7. Drink. Just a little, nobody has to know.
6. If you are a girl join a fantasy sports league and try and figure out what to do. If you are a guy, read celebrity gossip websites and try figure out why you should care. If anybody asks what you are doing, tell them market research.
5. Fart. Just a little, nobody has to know.
4. Spend one hour giving everyone in your office the evil eye. Spend the following hour being super cheery – evil eye, cheery, evil eye, cheery. Messing with people is fun.
3. Eat some bean soup for lunch, and then see how many times you can fart in your boss's office before she/he says anything.
2. Steal. Just a little, I won't tell.
1. Here's a thought. Stop reading and start working you lazy bastards.