9. Boxers are better than briefs. Boxer-briefs are better than boxers. Commando is king. Kings sometimes get their junk stuck in the zipper. It's always better to go with boxer-briefs.
8. Anyone who wears sunglasses inside of a nightclub is a giant douche. Anyone who justifies wearing sunglasses inside of a nightclub by singing I wear my sunglasses at night should be taken outside and beaten. Anyone who dresses up for a Halloween party by wearing a Mexican wrestling mask, well, frankly, that's just kick ass.
7. Eating a meat-only diet will produce some of the worst gas your nose has ever sniffed. Use this information wisely.
6. It is always better to have stolen and gotten away with it than it is to have stolen and gotten caught. Almost nothing good comes out of stealing and getting caught.
5. It is never a good idea to stare directly at the following: A solar eclipse; Michael Jackson's face; a hairy ass; Michael Jackson's ass; any combination of hair, asses and Michael Jackson.
4. Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have gonorrhea.
3. Just because chocolate is delicious does not mean everything covered in chocolate will be delicious. For example, chocolate covered goat tongue.
2. If your boss is an idiot chances are you boss's boss is an idiot. This makes advancement within the company extremely difficult, unless of course, you are an idiot.
1. Writing lists may make you friends, but it will never make you money.
No comments:
Post a Comment